it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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