Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize