But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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