so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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