how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
