this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
