I wish I only lived at night.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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