You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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