She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
