your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
