If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
