Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
