He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
