I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
