Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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