normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
