He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
