do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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