Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
