what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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