Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
