is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
