Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
