I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
