next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
