Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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