belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
