but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
