The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
