told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
