if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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