Whod you bang
I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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