Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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