how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
