Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
no, he came in my armpit
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
