I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
