So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
