he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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