im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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