Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Randomize
