We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
