yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
