Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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