If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
