thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
