his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
