my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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