Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
