Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
