I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
