Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
