Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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