Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She said her name was "party"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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