the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize