She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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