I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
